My Bipolar Life

Some things I've learned in my 44  years... 1-It's okay to fail as long as you learn something from it. We all stumble at times, we fail, we all doubt ourselves. The true failure comes from not learning from these mistakes and trying it differently next time. 2-It is okay to be wrong, and it's even better to admit it when you are. Anyone who knows me closely knows this is still a very hard one for me. Even when I am wrong I can pretty easily manipulate a conversation to convince the other they're wrong so they ultimately concede. I really thought this made me clever and obviously right but it was honestly just evil. Own your mistakes and move on because it earns you respect. 3-You are responsible for the actions of no one but yourself so stop apologizing for other's actions. Have I ever apologized for my husband's, one of my parent's, or one of my children's actions? Absolutely, I have and I am 100%, without a doubt, certain that more people than t...

I have often said that I started writing this for myself as a way to reconcile my feelings when I was very ill because I was pretty certain that I was going to die. I was also writing it for my children as a diary of sorts so they had a way to look back because because they were younger, Ella especially, and I was always afraid that the memories of me would slowly become more and more dim . I wanted them to know my heart and how I felt and just how hard I fought for them every day; that they were then and always will be the best of me, the best thing I've ever done. Thankfully, these thoughts no longer consume me and I don't worry about dying all that often anymore. I have been successfully working full-time for over four years now. Not only doing it but excelling. Ten years ago I'm sure no one ever thought I'd work again. With working comes great things because I have always been a bit of a workaholic and I drew pride from a job well done. Plus, a bit of my identity c...