My Bipolar Life

I saw a new surgeon today and I ended up being a little disappointed with how it went.  He hasn't said no to my surgery but he is presenting my case to a panel of surgeons for additionally view points.  He feels that a new replacement is the only option but that I may not survive the surgery or that I could suffer serious complications/ Well on to my feelings about all of it.... One, I absolutely don't want to die. I value my life because I am blessed with an amazing life with love, laughter and joy.  That being said, I am incredibly pissed off that I didn't get a different answer, the answer that I was truly seeking.  I wanted so badly to hear that this surgery could be safely performed and that my quality of life would improve.  I am in constant pain which can be exhausting because I have had to give up things that I truly enjoy, like the gym, just to preserve my walking for work.  I love my job but the pain while working is insane.  But the gym ...

It is Saturday and I truly came on here to talk about things that I am grateful so I began reading over the last things that I was grateful for and I was taken aback at how quickly things can change when other people's actions are less than respectful.  That made me realize that although I am grateful for many things, I need to take the time today to remind people what my blog is truly about and that is educating people a much as I can about bipolar.  It is not only about the dangers about the bipolar present to the bipolar person but also how the person may act.  I am the first to admit that bipolar people can be difficult but with that I want people to remember that bipolar is a very serious illness.  The sad part is, that I don't always recognize when I am being difficult because it all seems very logical and normal to me.  I don't get high strung and overwhelmed on purpose, it is simply a manifestation of mental illness. So why am I off on this tangent you...