Reach Out With Kindness
It is Saturday and I truly came on here to talk about things that I am grateful so I began reading over the last things that I was grateful for and I was taken aback at how quickly things can change when other people's actions are less than respectful. That made me realize that although I am grateful for many things, I need to take the time today to remind people what my blog is truly about and that is educating people a much as I can about bipolar. It is not only about the dangers about the bipolar present to the bipolar person but also how the person may act. I am the first to admit that bipolar people can be difficult but with that I want people to remember that bipolar is a very serious illness. The sad part is, that I don't always recognize when I am being difficult because it all seems very logical and normal to me. I don't get high strung and overwhelmed on purpose, it is simply a manifestation of mental illness.
So why am I off on this tangent you ask? Well, my knee surgery was supposed to be this last Wednesday but I was dropped by my surgeon because I have a confrontation personality. The hard part is that this isn't entirely true. I am only confrontational in the most stressful situations. When I had my consult, I stressed how overwhelmed and scared I was and the nurse practitioner said just speak to her about all my concerns. The fear and stress came from the fact that my last surgery had very severe and deadly complications. It was a good feeling that she seemed to get it. Sadly, medical professionals don't always understand mental illness any more than anyone else.
It soon became clear that they didn't get it......at all. I felt so supported and confident when I left that consult. If you look back at my previous post, I even said they calmed me a bit. Well, that all fell apart pretty quickly because their office was a disorganized mess. They changed my phone number in their computer to my husband's number. They then proceeded to call him EIGHT times over the course of a few hours leaving him various messages with my personal information in them. I returned these calls as he was able to get me the messages. Playing personal assistant wasn't something he really had time for because he was trying to work. Every single time I called back, I said that they were not calling the correct number. After a few hours, I said that had this not been my husband it would be a HIPAA violation and it was becoming very frustrating so could they please fix it. They didn't fix it and they also told me that I gave consent for my husband to talk to them so it was perfectly acceptable to call him almost continuously at work. I said that this wasn't really what I understood the consent to be for but more so to discuss things with the doctor if more clarification was needed. I asked them again to please fix my number and I said that I was really upset now. I asked how they could assure me that they would have the right chart in surgery if they couldn't even keep it in order in the office. (This is probably the comment that got me dropped and I stand by it,,,,,,,weeks later, I still feel this way.)
So needless to say, this was one stressful day and it was all caused by there errors. I guess to me, pushing every button a bipolar person has, is the same as force feeding a diabetic pixy stix, in either case it won't end well. But they are both manifestations of an illness and only one of them do most people try to understand. With mental illness. it is always about how we choose to not control ourselves. If more people would recognize that the lack of control was due to a chemical imbalance, we lack the correct amount of lithium similar to how a diabetic lacks insulin. The upsetting part is how easily accepted a diabetic's illness is but a bipolar's illness is not. I have never heard a diabetic asked to work harder at controlling their body's difficulty in controlling the side effects of their lack of insulin but I am often asked to control the side effects of my lack of lithium. Why is this okay? Well, it isn't but how do I change it? Sadly, I may never make a change even if I work my whole life as an advocate for bipolar. It is truly heartbreaking.
The worst part is, the medical professionals should be my biggest ally but this doctor dropped me because he felt I was confrontational and I called the office too much in one day. Well the second part just thoroughly pisses me off because I only called so many time because they kept calling my husband and I was calling them back. WTF was I supposed to do? Ignore every message?!?! I guess the moral of this story is, that sometimes people behave badly but maybe they just cannot control it. Maybe they are trying their hardest too control is but their lack of lithium is taking over. You can't tell if someone is bipolar by looking at them, they simply could be a jerk, but just give them the benefit of the doubt. Reach our with kindness, you could make a huge change in their day. And kindness if free so you can afford to give it to everyone.
So why am I off on this tangent you ask? Well, my knee surgery was supposed to be this last Wednesday but I was dropped by my surgeon because I have a confrontation personality. The hard part is that this isn't entirely true. I am only confrontational in the most stressful situations. When I had my consult, I stressed how overwhelmed and scared I was and the nurse practitioner said just speak to her about all my concerns. The fear and stress came from the fact that my last surgery had very severe and deadly complications. It was a good feeling that she seemed to get it. Sadly, medical professionals don't always understand mental illness any more than anyone else.
It soon became clear that they didn't get it......at all. I felt so supported and confident when I left that consult. If you look back at my previous post, I even said they calmed me a bit. Well, that all fell apart pretty quickly because their office was a disorganized mess. They changed my phone number in their computer to my husband's number. They then proceeded to call him EIGHT times over the course of a few hours leaving him various messages with my personal information in them. I returned these calls as he was able to get me the messages. Playing personal assistant wasn't something he really had time for because he was trying to work. Every single time I called back, I said that they were not calling the correct number. After a few hours, I said that had this not been my husband it would be a HIPAA violation and it was becoming very frustrating so could they please fix it. They didn't fix it and they also told me that I gave consent for my husband to talk to them so it was perfectly acceptable to call him almost continuously at work. I said that this wasn't really what I understood the consent to be for but more so to discuss things with the doctor if more clarification was needed. I asked them again to please fix my number and I said that I was really upset now. I asked how they could assure me that they would have the right chart in surgery if they couldn't even keep it in order in the office. (This is probably the comment that got me dropped and I stand by it,,,,,,,weeks later, I still feel this way.)
So needless to say, this was one stressful day and it was all caused by there errors. I guess to me, pushing every button a bipolar person has, is the same as force feeding a diabetic pixy stix, in either case it won't end well. But they are both manifestations of an illness and only one of them do most people try to understand. With mental illness. it is always about how we choose to not control ourselves. If more people would recognize that the lack of control was due to a chemical imbalance, we lack the correct amount of lithium similar to how a diabetic lacks insulin. The upsetting part is how easily accepted a diabetic's illness is but a bipolar's illness is not. I have never heard a diabetic asked to work harder at controlling their body's difficulty in controlling the side effects of their lack of insulin but I am often asked to control the side effects of my lack of lithium. Why is this okay? Well, it isn't but how do I change it? Sadly, I may never make a change even if I work my whole life as an advocate for bipolar. It is truly heartbreaking.
The worst part is, the medical professionals should be my biggest ally but this doctor dropped me because he felt I was confrontational and I called the office too much in one day. Well the second part just thoroughly pisses me off because I only called so many time because they kept calling my husband and I was calling them back. WTF was I supposed to do? Ignore every message?!?! I guess the moral of this story is, that sometimes people behave badly but maybe they just cannot control it. Maybe they are trying their hardest too control is but their lack of lithium is taking over. You can't tell if someone is bipolar by looking at them, they simply could be a jerk, but just give them the benefit of the doubt. Reach our with kindness, you could make a huge change in their day. And kindness if free so you can afford to give it to everyone.
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