Just a Few Steps Away
I'm a little all over the place with my thoughts today. Not in a bipolar, I can't reign it in way, but in a I'm human and I have decency way. Everyone of us sees so many of things throughout the day that it can be surprising which can have an impact and which can just slip away. I think sometimes a moment in your day may have no meaning until it has passed, until it is too late for you to do something, for you to make the change that you should have made. This happened to me yesterday and my heart still hurts a little bit because I did the wrong thing in the moment and now I regret it. For as much as I like rules and order, sometimes exceptions need to be made because it is the right thing to do, actually the only truly decent thing to do.
Our lobby at work closes at 12 midnight. The drive-thru remains open but cannot have walk up traffic due to the safety concern. Around 12:15 am we had a homeless women walk up and want to order food. She was turned away, as is policy. I really thought very little of it and went about my business because we were quite busy. There were comments made about, "the crazy homeless lady" being back. I actually gave no thought to the comments because in reality, she probably had some sort of illness. Most, not all, but most homeless are ill. She left, and like I said, I continued working.
Fast forward a few hours and it is now about 2:30 am and I am walking home, feeling so sorry for myself, by the way, because I don't have a car. Truly just hating life because it was so windy when I was walking. Then, I happen upon the same homeless women sitting on a bus bench. Not sleeping, because I assume she wanted to protect all of her worldly belongings. And shivering, she was shivering like you wouldn't believe. I was cold in my sweater, as it was a cold, windy night. I offered her my sweater and she declined. I truly looked at her and my heart broke. She is just a person. The only difference is that she is a person alone, probably scared, hungry and sitting on a bus bench while I feel sorry for myself that I have to walk a little bit from my paying job to my home with everything I need.
As I walked further, I realized that she and I aren't as different as we appear in that moment. Dan and I would be homeless if my mom hadn't stepped in and saved my family. We all know how ill I was years ago until Dr. Todd stepped in and helped me get the disability that I qualified for. That provided funds and insurance. Without insurance and the medicine, would I be "the crazy homeless lady" or would I just be dead? I guess I look at her with so much more empathy now and I hope you do, too. Next time you see a "crazy homeless lady" (or man), see my face, and know that small changes are huge. I wish I would have served her some food. Hell, I wish I had bought her some food. The write up I would have gotten at work seems so unimportant in the grand scheme of human decency, of kindness, of just doing to appropriate thing. I must say I am a little disappointed in myself that my great empathy for her comes from the fact that I am just a few wrong turns away from being her and not from the fact that I basic commonsense. This empathy should come from commonsense, yet it took me awhile to find it. But I found it and I will chose a different path next time. Rules are good, but decency is better.
Our lobby at work closes at 12 midnight. The drive-thru remains open but cannot have walk up traffic due to the safety concern. Around 12:15 am we had a homeless women walk up and want to order food. She was turned away, as is policy. I really thought very little of it and went about my business because we were quite busy. There were comments made about, "the crazy homeless lady" being back. I actually gave no thought to the comments because in reality, she probably had some sort of illness. Most, not all, but most homeless are ill. She left, and like I said, I continued working.
Fast forward a few hours and it is now about 2:30 am and I am walking home, feeling so sorry for myself, by the way, because I don't have a car. Truly just hating life because it was so windy when I was walking. Then, I happen upon the same homeless women sitting on a bus bench. Not sleeping, because I assume she wanted to protect all of her worldly belongings. And shivering, she was shivering like you wouldn't believe. I was cold in my sweater, as it was a cold, windy night. I offered her my sweater and she declined. I truly looked at her and my heart broke. She is just a person. The only difference is that she is a person alone, probably scared, hungry and sitting on a bus bench while I feel sorry for myself that I have to walk a little bit from my paying job to my home with everything I need.
As I walked further, I realized that she and I aren't as different as we appear in that moment. Dan and I would be homeless if my mom hadn't stepped in and saved my family. We all know how ill I was years ago until Dr. Todd stepped in and helped me get the disability that I qualified for. That provided funds and insurance. Without insurance and the medicine, would I be "the crazy homeless lady" or would I just be dead? I guess I look at her with so much more empathy now and I hope you do, too. Next time you see a "crazy homeless lady" (or man), see my face, and know that small changes are huge. I wish I would have served her some food. Hell, I wish I had bought her some food. The write up I would have gotten at work seems so unimportant in the grand scheme of human decency, of kindness, of just doing to appropriate thing. I must say I am a little disappointed in myself that my great empathy for her comes from the fact that I am just a few wrong turns away from being her and not from the fact that I basic commonsense. This empathy should come from commonsense, yet it took me awhile to find it. But I found it and I will chose a different path next time. Rules are good, but decency is better.
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