Is It Bipolar?

I haven't written anything in quite awhile, I know.  I guess when stability sets in, there becomes less and less to write about.  Less and less to share because life becomes really mundane and ordinary.  And I guess I don't think that anyone wants to hear about mundane and ordinary.  I am grateful for the stability that I now have and it is making more certain in my purpose in life.  I have for the last few years felt that my purpose was to help others and that is why I chose to study to become a victim's advocate.  I thought that I had the right mix of compassion, empathy and understanding to help others when they are going through their worst.  I realized recently that others do, too when a family member reached out to me because a friend of theirs was struggling with bipolar.  My family member thought that I could help them.  I am not sure, yet, if that is true, if I was helpful but I guess time will tell.

While I continue you through my ordinary and mundane, I can't help but feel grateful.  People see me not as a crazy girl with bipolar but as a hard worker, a good student, a friend, someone to trust, and someone to confide in.  The reality is, I was all of those things before but when the sickness takes hold, it takes hold and erases all of those things from view.  Bipolar steals who you are before you can even realize it.  I became bipolar and it became me...all of me.  The hard worker, the good student, the friend, all of it was gone.  I was gone.  People didn't see me as anything other than a crazy, out of control, sick person and I hate that.  I hate that it happened to me and I hate that it happens and will continue to happen to others.  Bipolar is pure evil and I hope that someday there is a cure. 

The odd thing is that people who meet me know would say that they had no idea that I was bipolar.  A big part of me likes that they are able to see all the parts of me that are there and not see there person that I became when bipolar stole my identity.  But on the flip side, it makes me even stronger in my convictions to educate others in what bipolar means and what it doesn't mean.  I want to help people get help when they needed and work to lessen the rate of suicide in our country.  I want to be a part of the solution and never a part of the problem.

The following are the warning signs of bipolar:

  • High energy, excessive activity, and/or restlessness
  • Overly good mood
  • Irritability
  • Fast, erratic talking
  • Racing thoughts
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Little need for sleep
  • Feelings of power
  • Poor judgement
  • Reckless spending
  • High sex drive
  • Alcohol or drug use
  • Aggression
  • Refusal to that there is a problem
  • Sadness, anxiety, or a feeling of emptiness
  • Hopelessness
  • Feelings of guilt, feeling worthless, or feeling helpless
  • Lack of interest in activities that were once enjoyable, such as sex
  • Low energy
  • Trouble with concentration or memory
  • Restlessness or irritability
  • Excessive sleeping or insomnia
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Pain or other physical symptoms not explained by illness or injury
  • Thoughts of death, or suicidal thoughts or attempts
If you or someone you love is experiencing a combination of these symptoms, please get them help immediately, it could be bipolar.  If you are unsure of who to call in your area, please call the NAMI helpline at 800-950-6264.

BIPOLAR CAN BE DEADLY AND IS ALWAYS SERIOUS, PLEASE TREAT IT AS SUCH.  BE PART OF THE SOLUTION AND NEVER PART OF THE PROBLEM.


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