My Bipolar Life

Never one to disappoint, I am having a very bipolar evening.  I often try to look at the positives that bipolar has given me but today I am stuck in one very huge negative and that is my huge insecurity.  I know that the insecurity could also be exasperated by my personality but I really don't know where illness ends and personality begins so I like to think that I can blame the illness for this.  I guess I like the idea of blaming the illness because illness has a treatment but I am just stuck with a shitty personality if that's the problem. I have been struggling with someone who is very important to me.  We have a long term relationship and when we were kids, we had commonalities, friendship and fun.  Bipolar was pretty much a non-issue because it hadn't shown its hand yet and we didn't know what a game changer it would be in my life and in the lives of those around me.  I have hurt everyone around me, this person included.  Bipolar made me quite the asshole a lot

Wowza, I haven't written anything in quite awhile.  I guess life has been busy and I have had very little to say.  I guess part of me feels that when I am writing a blog about my life with bipolar, each post should somehow be relevant to my struggle with bipolar.  The thing is, though, there is so much more to my life than bipolar.  I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a friend.........and a person with bipolar.  There are so many more components to me than bipolar.  There are so many words than describe me besides bipolar.  I am more, yet, I feel like people expect it to define me.  Hell, for a long time I THOUGHT it did define me but it definitely does not.  Today is not a day that is about bipolar.  Today is a day that is about Lisa, the mom.  I truly hope that who I am as a mom is more of a reflection of who I am than who I am in the moments of bipolar crazy.  I hope my legacy is that of a great wife, mom, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and friend.  And n