Teddy ♡

Below is the eulogy that I gave at my father-in-law's funeral. I am sharing it here for anyone who couldn't be there...

Good morning and thank you for coming…my name is Lisa and I am Ted’s daughter-in-law and on behalf of my family I would like to thank you for being here to support us in our immense grief.  Ted was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in June and up until a few weeks ago it seemed that he could possibly beat the cancer.  In fact, just 7 days before he passed away they told us the cancer tumor was gone.  So in a lot of ways, this was a sudden loss but we take comfort in the fact he didn’t suffer.  He was loving and fun almost until the very end and told all of us on one of the last days where most of us were all together that he a great life and the best family in the world.  And he was right; we do have the best family in the world.

When Teddy got sick earlier this year I knew that I wanted to speak at his funeral as my own way of honoring him.  I have struggled this last week with what I wanted to say here and what I wanted to keep as private memories just for me.  The most important thing I can tell you about him is that if you were lucky enough to have him in your corner then you would always be good.  He was a great husband, an even better father and father-in-law, and the most involved and fun Grandpa.

Over the past six months I have done everything I can to stay strong for Ruth as she was losing the love of her life, for Dan as he was losing his father, and for my kids as they suffered the first big loss of their lives.  I have tried to pretend that my loss was less significant but it really isn’t, it’s just different than their loss.  Everyone in this room is dealing with a loss of their own and for me; I lost the best man I have ever known.  He was kind, loving, supportive, and unapologetically himself.  

When I met Teddy over 25 years ago, I am not entirely sure he was all that impressed…I was really crazy and I didn’t share the family’s passion for the Packers or even football.  He loved me anyway, flaws and all.  It wasn’t long after I fell in love with Dan that I realized that if he was half the man his father was, I would have a pretty amazing life…and I did because Teddy and Ruth raised an amazing man.  A man who has shown me unconditionally love, just as they have.

I am forever grateful for a father-in-law who called me just to tell me loved me.  I am forever grateful for his consistent love and support.  I am forever grateful for our own special bond and our many shared laughs and even a few shared tears.

Towards the end of his life, Teddy struggled with anger and he took quite a bit of it out on me.  Ruth finally asked him why he kept hollering at me and he said it was because I was a budinski who didn’t even like football.  I have been so sad for the last week because I was so jealous that I didn’t have that special moment at the end where we shared our love for each other like everyone else in my family had.  I felt slighted but I then I think about the fact that even 25 years later I could still not live down the fact that I didn’t love football and I laugh.  I laugh because even in his fear, he had to tease me.  So while we didn’t sit and down and have that moment sharing our love for each, we have something just as special, our own unspoken bond.  In his fear, he knew regardless of what was said or wasn’t said that I knew his love for me.  And I do.

We are all better for having been loved by him, especially Ruth who he protected all the way until the end.  On Monday before he passed away, Ruth kept saying that he has told her all their life that he was never dying on a sunny day.  That Monday, the weather was weird going from sunny to overcast throughout the day.  The nurse told us she thought it was time just as the sun was coming out again and as Ruth sat next to Ted and sobbed, his very slow breathing got much more rapid again.  This was typical Teddy…keeping us on our toes and doing things his way until the end.  He had faked us out because it really wasn’t time so Ruth laid down to rest and she drifted off to sleep.  As Ella and I sat next to him, his breathing again slowed down and the nurse again said she thought it was time.  We woke Ruth and she quietly sat next to him as the sky became overcast.  True to his word, he didn’t die on a sunny day or at least in a sunny moment.  And true to how he lived his life, he took care of his wife even in death, once he knew Ruth was okay and able to rest, he knew he could go.  

As I think about how poignant that moment truly was, I am 100% convinced that the sun that kept poking through was his mom telling him that it was okay and that heaven was waiting for him.  I feel such peace knowing that he has no more pain and that he is in his parent’s arms watching over all of   down here.  Teddy, I love you and I’ll do my best to take care of Ruth and Dan just as well as you did.  Until we meet again, I will keep myself busy not watching football and being the best budinski anyone has ever met.