To make you feel my love
I leave in 11 1/2 hours to go The Mayo and I am in major shutdown mode. I think every bit of energy I had that was propelling me forward is gone and fear is just completely set it. This is not how I wanted to be but unfortunately, I think it is how I expected to be.
I am fearful of something going wrong and there being any doubt in anyone's mind how I feel about them.
To my sisters, brothers, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nephews and nieces, you are all a huge part of my heart. I love each and everyone for different reasons and I hope that I have been loving enough that you just know.
To my friends, I hope that each and everyone of you know where you fit in my heart. I love big and I love each of you for a certain reason and I hope I have told you enough that it shows through my actions.
To my aunts, uncles, and cousins, I am blessed with a big and loving family and I love you all whether we are really close or not. Grandma and Grandpa have created an amazing family.
To my Dad and Sue, I love you. I know it has been a rocky road but that doesn't mean there isn't love there. Love doesn't need to be perfect to exist, it just needs to exist.
To my in-laws, I have so many words, you have been like second parents to me for over 20 years and have loved me unconditionally from day one. I have never met anyone who has won the in-law lottery in the way that I have. Thank you for loving me as much as you do because I am not always the easiest to love but you do anyway, everyday.
To Al, you have been the most amazing stepfather that a girl could ask for and I love you. Thanks for looking out for me always.
To my mom, to see you change so much in the last few years to fight your ass off to save me is nothing short of amazing and I know that you love beyond anything and that almost makes this suffering worth it. I have never felt more loved by you than I have in the last few years. You have become my rock, and I am and will always be eternally grateful for that.
To Ella, my beautiful princess, you have brought nothing but joy to my life and I feeling blessed to have you as my only daughter. You light up my life with you amazing beauty, brains, kindness, friendliness and helpfulness. I cannot imagine a moment without you in my life, not one single moment.
To James, my favorite comic genius, your wit sometimes is the only thing that keeps me going through the day. You love big and you are a good friend. You have a big heart and you save it for the special and that is a great quality, you are not fake and I love your genuine nature. I live everyday grateful that you are my son and I forever feel that way.
To Billy, my firstborn, little peanut, you are nearly a man and I don't know exactly how that happened but I am so proud of the man you are becoming, I am more amazed each day. You are accomplishing your dreams day by day and I am really luck and proud to call you my son. You are brilliant and I am not sure how that happened because you have definitely surpassed anything your dad or I have done, keep going. Keep aiming high and you will get anywhere you want to be.
To Dan, what is there to say. You are my partner in crime, the Ethel to my Lucy, and my very best friend. I feel lucky everyday that you chose me to be your wife because I am a handful, difficult, opinionated and a lot of work yet you love me everyday. And I love you so much more each day and I don't know how that is even possible because everyday it seems like it can't better than it is that day. You have made my life full and complete. And God forbid my life ends young, it will have been full because of you. You have have made all of my dreams come true and I love you with everything I have.
The following song is dedicated to Dan and my kids..........
Now I can leave tomorrow in peace, knowing all my words have been said. I love you all!!
I am fearful of something going wrong and there being any doubt in anyone's mind how I feel about them.
To my sisters, brothers, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, nephews and nieces, you are all a huge part of my heart. I love each and everyone for different reasons and I hope that I have been loving enough that you just know.
To my friends, I hope that each and everyone of you know where you fit in my heart. I love big and I love each of you for a certain reason and I hope I have told you enough that it shows through my actions.
To my aunts, uncles, and cousins, I am blessed with a big and loving family and I love you all whether we are really close or not. Grandma and Grandpa have created an amazing family.
To my Dad and Sue, I love you. I know it has been a rocky road but that doesn't mean there isn't love there. Love doesn't need to be perfect to exist, it just needs to exist.
To my in-laws, I have so many words, you have been like second parents to me for over 20 years and have loved me unconditionally from day one. I have never met anyone who has won the in-law lottery in the way that I have. Thank you for loving me as much as you do because I am not always the easiest to love but you do anyway, everyday.
To Al, you have been the most amazing stepfather that a girl could ask for and I love you. Thanks for looking out for me always.
To my mom, to see you change so much in the last few years to fight your ass off to save me is nothing short of amazing and I know that you love beyond anything and that almost makes this suffering worth it. I have never felt more loved by you than I have in the last few years. You have become my rock, and I am and will always be eternally grateful for that.
To Ella, my beautiful princess, you have brought nothing but joy to my life and I feeling blessed to have you as my only daughter. You light up my life with you amazing beauty, brains, kindness, friendliness and helpfulness. I cannot imagine a moment without you in my life, not one single moment.
To James, my favorite comic genius, your wit sometimes is the only thing that keeps me going through the day. You love big and you are a good friend. You have a big heart and you save it for the special and that is a great quality, you are not fake and I love your genuine nature. I live everyday grateful that you are my son and I forever feel that way.
To Billy, my firstborn, little peanut, you are nearly a man and I don't know exactly how that happened but I am so proud of the man you are becoming, I am more amazed each day. You are accomplishing your dreams day by day and I am really luck and proud to call you my son. You are brilliant and I am not sure how that happened because you have definitely surpassed anything your dad or I have done, keep going. Keep aiming high and you will get anywhere you want to be.
To Dan, what is there to say. You are my partner in crime, the Ethel to my Lucy, and my very best friend. I feel lucky everyday that you chose me to be your wife because I am a handful, difficult, opinionated and a lot of work yet you love me everyday. And I love you so much more each day and I don't know how that is even possible because everyday it seems like it can't better than it is that day. You have made my life full and complete. And God forbid my life ends young, it will have been full because of you. You have have made all of my dreams come true and I love you with everything I have.
The following song is dedicated to Dan and my kids..........
Now I can leave tomorrow in peace, knowing all my words have been said. I love you all!!
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